When confidence wavers: how to rebuild self-trust at work
- CharlotteLittlejones
- 2 days ago
- 4 min read
Our confidence levels can ebb and flow, and can be influenced by various factors. If left unaddressed, it can negatively impact our behaviour and self-esteem.
In this blog l cover:
Confidence issues are part of being human
There have been points in my own career when my confidence has slipped away – sometimes without me noticing.
On the surface, I appeared capable and composed. I was progressing, delivering, and being trusted with responsibility. Yet internally, there were moments of hesitation, self-doubt, and second‑guessing decisions I was more than qualified to make.
What I’ve learned - both personally and through my work with coaching clients - is that confidence rarely disappears because we lack ability. It fades because we spend time adapting, accommodating, and prioritising what’s expected of us (or what we think is expected of us) over what we actually think and feel.
If your confidence feels shaky right now, you’re human, you're not alone - and you’re certainly not failing.
"Fake it until you make it" doesn't address what's going on
As a coach, confidence comes up with almost every client I work with.
And these aren’t people at the start of their career. They are mid‑ to senior‑level professionals, leaders, directors, or people changing career.
They are people others look to for reassurance and direction.
Many of them arrive saying things like:
“I don’t feel as confident as I used to.”
“I’m constantly second‑guessing myself.”
“I know I can do it, but I don’t always trust my judgement.”
What’s striking is how universal this experience is. Even those who appear confident on the outside - articulate, decisive, visible - often admit to imposter syndrome behind the scenes. Many have simply learned the skills to function despite doubt. To present certainty, to keep moving forward, to stay afloat.
And while “fake it until you make it” can be useful in the short term, it doesn’t always address what’s happening underneath.
In my own career, the times I felt least confident could often be traced back to:
Working in environments where the pace left little room for reflection
Taking on responsibility without adequate space or time to recalibrate
Being promoted without the training, or coaching required
Absorbing others’ expectations and priorities as my own
Spending long periods responding rather than choosing
None of these meant I was incapable. They meant I was disconnected from my own internal compass or that expectations put on me were unrealistic.
The difference between confidence and self-trust
One of the most helpful distinctions I’ve learned - and now work with regularly in coaching - is the difference between confidence and self‑trust.
Confidence is often visible. It’s how we come across, how comfortable we feel being seen, how easily we speak up.
Self‑trust is quieter. Self‑trust is:
Listening to your internal signals
Backing your judgment before you have full certainty
Allowing yourself to decide without over‑explaining- Believing your perspective is worth paying attention to
Setting and sticking to your own boundaries.
When confidence wavers, it’s rarely confidence itself that needs fixing. It’s self‑trust that needs rebuilding.
A simple coaching tool: the pause and choose framework
Here’s a gentle but powerful tool I often use with clients - and return to myself when doubt creeps in.
Pause
Before reacting, rushing, or seeking reassurance, pause - even briefly.
Ask yourself:
What am I noticing right now?
Where do I feel certain - even slightly?
Wht is my gut telling me?
What feels misaligned?
Choose
Instead of aiming for the perfect decision, choose the next step that feels right.
That might be:
Voicing a perspective
Setting a small boundary
Making a decision and reviewing it later
Taking action without waiting for external validation
Each time you do this, you reinforce a quiet message to yourself: I can trust my judgement.
Confidence often grows after action - not before it.
Steps you can take towards self-confidence
If you’re noticing a lack of confidence in your work right now, try this reflection:
Where have I been relying more on others’ approval rather than my own judgment?
What evidence do I already have that I can trust myself?
What is one small decision I could make this week without over‑thinking it?
This isn’t about dramatic reinvention. It’s about returning to yourself - steadily, compassionately, and at your own pace.
As a coach, I see time and again that confidence doesn’t come from becoming someone new. It comes from reconnecting with who you already are.
“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”
— Benjamin Spock
If this resonates, and you’d value space to reflect, regain clarity, and rebuild self‑trust in a supportive but challenging way, coaching can help.
You don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to begin trusting yourself again.
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